Mocking

Today we had a theme day in school, we watched a movie I.R.L and discussed it afterwards. The team was a important one, mocking and being mean to others. To be honest in my school it´s not a problem, i don´t think i have seen one single time someone mock someone in school. The social pressure in our school is to big for something like that happening, but of course there is some, but were talking of like 3 or 4 people(which is still to much). I have seen the usual behind the back talking, but i think that is the lesser evil as you don´t directly affect them, but of course its mean and i feel bad when i see some. But i´m honest, i have not tried to stop that because its hard and when its something that not affects to much i feel there is no reason to intervene. as it would continue did i say stop or not. But i do defend people if someone says something to me that i think is stupid of other people.
                The movie told a bout a boy who was mocked (badly) and escaped this into computer games, then thanks to a internet friend(kinda hard to explain) he decided to solve the issue and solved it doing a suicide. The suicide luckily was faked and then they showed the movie to the mockers, quite frankly a good move. Then he came back and he got his and his fathers message to the world, people only start caring once the worst has happened. And its true, teachers do try sometimes to help. but quite frankly they are powerless sometimes. And sometimes the teachers don´t know what to do, or even worse don´t care.
                 When i was in primary school and kindergarten, i was quite a fat kid. I was mocked somewhat for it, but never nothing big and serious. Only words and some ignoring/being out of the group. But it left extremely insecure about my body and in grades 7-8 i had serious issues with making friends and talking to girls, but thanks to my confirmation school i got them away and now i am a happy and quite confident young lad. But sometimes i still feel fat and get weird obsession with being healthy. But it left me with something.
              I hate everything with mocking, if i ever would see someone being physical or saying mean things to someone else, i would go between and say stop, if i see someone being hurt i just get mad and sad. And now as i´m a quite big guy i have the possibility to do so. I also always want everyone to join and have fun, i always try to make so everyone feels like they are in the group and feel like they are important. Of course i cannot succeed always in it, but i try.
               I think mocking is just ridiculous, its people who being insecure about themselves mocking someone for being "different" or having some abnormality(or so they think).  I cannot understand why people are so mean to others, I think a-lot of it is also that people do not understand what they are really doing, what can happen and how it affects some people, Some people can get traumatized for rest of their life, Some people can take it, and deal with it in different ways, and some they resort to the last option a option no one should ever take. A good way to think as people call everyone gay, is i feel a way to show their hate for "gays" but i think a lot of it is peoples insecurity in their own sexual orientation. I noticed when people got more and more secure about their sexuality the amount of gay out spitting decreased(also to do with understanding and compassion). Mocking was a lot more normal in junior high school, especially as the difference are really big and usual some "stronger individuals" get a following and none dares to say no and only admire this " big tough bad ass". The bad ass also feeling of having to show that hes bigger and better. But mocking is a problem that is never going to get solved, it is in our nature(kinda of a survival of the fittest) and people will always be mean, and have a feeling of undermining other people.
              The only thing you can do is to say no, help the people who is getting mocked. Be brave and dare to step out of the group and stop it. Or if you do not dare to do that at least don´t ignore them, talk to them, show that you are a friend. Sometimes a small hi and a hug means more than the world(trust me can tell on experience). Being friendly is more than a lot of people ask, the feeling of being part of something is one of the most important things in a lot of peoples life. Be kind, be happy, be brave and dare to be different!

Good and Evil

Whats right and whats wrong? I have often been thinking about such things, as i expect most other people have too. But now with the new winds and directions in my life have made me really question my own morals and decisions. I always wonder do i do right and always aim to make other people happy, if i feel that i have hurt or done something wrong i often get really disappointed in myself and often make small things to big in my head. Should you always aim to be perfect? No i don´t think so, not anymore. People make mistakes, and from mistakes you learn to be a even better person. But the most important thing is, if you do a mistake then just ask for forgiveness. Do not let it stay in your mind, you´ll feel a lot better from it, trust me.
                    I always live by what Jesus said, treat others how you want to be treated (the little bible). And in my hunt to be nice to everyone i neglected the fact that no one is perfect, how hard you try, you´ll always make enemies and hurt people. But that´s how life works, no one is perfect and if you are some will hate you for it.
                    Moral is something everyone has, but whats the "right moral" ? What i think is that the only correct moral there is, is your own. Of course some morals are straight forward crazy(see Hitler) but in their minds its the correct and that is often what drives people forward, own thoughts and beliefs. There is a law for a reason, and you should follow it, but more often not the law does not intervene with your moral thinking and questions. People often talk about  being hypocritical or having double standards. And if we are honest everyone does it sometimes, i often realized how hypocritical i was and regret what i said/did. Sometimes i make my own moral judgments and decisions. And the way i live my life right now i feel is the right one, i drink, i party, i believe, sometimes i do stupid things but i always try to be friendly and make everyone feel that they are my friends(because almost everyone is) and belong to the group. Of course i cant succeed in it, too many people to please and run by. And that something that´s also important to learn, say no when you have to. It hurts less than disappoint someone or having to say to say later: no, sorry.  I always try not to lie, but sometimes it´s better than to hurt the other person. I aim to spread happiness, but sometimes it does not work out for a reason or another. But i believe in my own good.

There is a difference in knowing the path, and walking the path. Even the brightest of stars,
sometimes disappears in the dar
k.